Have you ever found yourself in deep thought about time? Have you ever thought about how lucky you are to be living right this second? Take a deep breath and reflect how you have the amazing opportunity to be alive right now, on May 31, 2018. Scientists say that Earth is billions of years old. Billions! Think about that! But, let’s think more relatively; mammals have existed (supposedly) about 60-80 million years! Holy crap! And the average life span of humans is about 80 years old. That’s 0.000001 of time relative to when mammals appeared. Call me crazy, but I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the importance of our time here, since it’s so short in the grand scheme of things.
I can’t help but feel an immense amount of gratitude to be alive today, right now, in this moment, reflecting on time. Every moment is such a gift. I know that one day will be my last day here and it honestly terrifies me. Will I go before my parents? Will they go before me? How can I live with the definitive reality of death? But, let’s not stick to that heavy thought. I want to keep this post light.
What I’d like to talk about is how grateful I am when I find myself in these thoughts of time. Even though life gets in the way sometimes: I stress out, I have anxiety, I worry about my parents, I stress about work. But, with all of that, I find these random moments where I stop, and I stare into the woods by my house and I watch the trees sway. I listen to the wind and the birds, and I take a deep breath. I reflect that this moment is so special. I don’t want to regret not appreciating these little moments and wishing I could do it all over again.
I have said a few times that we cannot take life for granted nor can we drown ourselves in the chaos of life because there are no do-overs, there’s no pause, rewind or replays. Knowing that keeps me focused (or at least I try) on living each and every day with some victories. Each day has a victory hidden somewhere within it. Have you noticed any recently? They can be so subtle that you may not even recognize them. I know that some days I find myself beaten up either from emotions, work, family, finances, goals, etc. And since I’m pretty hard on myself and am a bit of a perfectionist, you can imagine this happens quite frequently. I try to focus each day on being the best I can be! May that be a good employee at work, a good dog mom to Milo, a good partner to my significant other, a good daughter, you name it. I am always growing and improving, and that keeps me going. I know that my dedication will provide fulfillment in this life and I also know that life’s many lessons have an outcome that leads me down the right path.
Let’s talk about the right path for a second. Sometimes we may not know where life is taking us, why we feel certain feelings, why something works out the way it does. I have learned that we cannot get caught up in the “whys” or the “what ifs.” We are all led down a path that was meant for us- by God, the Universe, whatever you believe. I’m reading this incredible book that a former boss recommended called Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping. It’s a little out there for anyone who may not be open to unorthodox beliefs, but his message is perfect for this topic. In life, we may find ourselves being the victim in situations. Think about it- you get into an argument with your Mom and your response is “why does she have to be so difficult” or “what is wrong with her?” Sometimes, the issue is not with the other person; the issue is us. I have learned to reflect in just about any situation (work, family, relationships, friends) and ask myself “could I have done something to create this”, “am I upset about something that is creating tension” or “what could I have done better in this situation to avoid it happening again in the future?” I really think this is a true test of emotional intelligence and a skill we should all think about improving. And trust me, I am far from perfect, but I always stand true to my mistakes and make them right. Always.
Tipping also talks about how life is purposeful, that we’re not all just wandering around the globe experiencing random events. We all have a purpose here and some of us find that sooner than others. I do believe that life is full of learning opportunities and we can either choose door A or door B. Ultimately, the decision is up to us, but it’s done purposefully. So, anyway, enough of that. But, get the book. He’ll teach you how to find peace in any situation.
Back to the discussion of time. I have really been feeling so many mixed emotions about time, lately. On the one hand, I am so thrilled that I can now say that I am in my 30s and that I have accomplished A, B, C…. and so on. However, on the other hand, it makes me a little sad because I think about how quickly the last 5 years, 10 years have gone by and how each year goes by quicker than the one before. I fear that I’ll blink and I’ll be 60, 70, 80. And that’s if I live to be that old. I sure hope I do, but we just don’t know these things. All I know is that I live each and every day for me. What’s good for Nicole is top priority. Anything less, I ask the Universe to remove it with grace (Lionel Richie). I want to do right by the world, even if the world sometimes doesn’t do right by me. But, I have a lot to be grateful for, even for the things I once didn’t feel grateful for at the time. Blessings come in many shapes and sizes and we should appreciate them all.
It’s important to me to make meaningful relationships and maintain the relationships that I have. With that being said, I make a point to do special things for the people that I love as often as I can. I have a big heart and I strive to make each encounter as loving as possible. My time is precious and I make time for those in my life. My heart is so full when I attend weddings, the birth of a friend’s child, birthdays, baby showers, trips with friends, date nights, happy hours; I’m there for it all. I feel that for the first time in my life I have the relationships I always dreamed of having. I have amazing friends (both old and a few new), a great relationship with my parents (that took some work), a wonderful relationship with my man and I think I’m a pretty kickass mom to Milo! The point is that time is special and life is all about meaningful relationships. And maybe leaving behind a small legacy if you become inspirational or create an impact.
Time is an amazing gift. Make good use of it. Don’t take it for granted.
Love and Light, always.